No more eggshell walking. My aunt (no names), whom I live with (not by choice) is a self-entitled, abusive, manipulative alcoholic, drug addicted sociopath who will never-ever change. I do what I can to keep her from snapping at random such as offering big and small favors as well as inconvenient compromises, but when you mix drugs and alcohol the way she does, you never have any idea which personality is coming home. It could be the overly sensitive crier who makes everything about her… including the deaths and pain of others, the rage-filled psycho who throws things and punches at people, or the one who strolls in just before dawn and rummages through the fridge like a peckish rat, leaving all the containers wide open before passing out into a deep coma it takes physical trauma to wake up from. I literally had to jab her in the thigh with my fist the other day to make sure she got up for work. This was after 15 minutes of shouting in her face and shaking failed. The guy from her work who showed up to give her a ride looked very unhappy. Actually, he looked downright irritated. I do so much for her. I talk and listen to her when she’s upset and in one of those rare states where she might be able to listen to my advice, I give her shoulder and foot rubs when she asks, which is no easy task since she’s built like a freak’n lumberjack. Hell, everyone I do this for compliments me and asks if I have a license to do it professionally. I put up with some really horrible things she says, and she’s even physically attacked me on more than one occasion. One time was because I stepped in to defend my mother who she had on the ground and in tears. There are things I’ve done for her on a regular basis I won’t get into that as it could land me in hot water. Media related stuff. No details. She has done things for me in the past, but always very small things with some kind of a price tag attached to it, which was so not worth the price. For example, she’ll pay for food on occasion (rarely ever my choice) and then expect me to forgive all the crap she’s done up to that point and get pissed when I failed to practically lick her fucking toes in thanks. There is so much more I could tell you, but you’d think I was exaggerating, which I wouldn’t be. Anyone who knows her could vouch for all this as well as the things I refuse to say. My aunt may prefer that I not share anything, but she can go to Hell. I owe her a few punches and some very cruel words, but certainly not my silence. I don’t even see her as female anymore. Just a disgusting, vulgar, cruel person who is far luckier than she will ever know. She likes to think that she’s better than me because she has a job… for as long as it’ll last, but if that was all it took to be a decent human being, the world would suck even more than it does now. I’m far from perfect, but the last thing I’ll ever be is maliciously cruel to those who do good things for me. Soon, I will have a job and a place of my own. Then, I won’t have to worry about her anymore. I am worried about my mother though. She’s planning on selling the house soon and getting her own place, but until then, anything can happen.
To those of you who talk to my aunt and see this, know that my mother has no part in what I’ve said here. I hope you keep that in mind when you decide to blab. These are my words and my words alone. If you know my aunt, you know she’ll assume she had some part in this and will go after her too. Yes, they also have problems, but that is their business. This is mine and I have every right in the world to share whatever I damn well please. I do not owe her anything and don’t require her good side for support of any kind. As far as I’m concerned, from now on, she is simply a seriously unpleasant co-tenant I need to avoid until I move out.