∙I tried to catch some Fog… but I mist.
∙When chemists die, they barium.
∙Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
∙A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
∙I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
∙How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
∙I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
∙I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
∙I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
∙They told me I had type a blood, but it was a type-o.
∙PMS jokes aren’t funny, PERIOD!
∙Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
∙Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
∙The Energizer Bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
∙I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
∙How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
∙Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
∙When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
∙I wondered shy the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
∙Broken pencils are pointless.
∙What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
∙England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
∙I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
∙All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
∙I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
∙Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
∙Velcro. What a rip off!
∙Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
∙I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
∙Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
∙NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Massive twister caught on tape by storm-chasers as it touches down near hard-hit Shawnee, Oklahoma, where at least one man was killed.
This monster tornado killed at least 91 people yesterday and 20 of them were children. This is horrible.
Once Upon a Time in Wonderland - ABC Network (by ABCNetwork)
I have never missed an episode of Once Upon a Time. I love it. So, how is it that I never heard about this upcoming spin-off series?
From now on, every Sunday is Extreme Honesty Sunday. What this means is, I will give all of my followers the chance to ask me any question they want with a guaranteed honest answer. It can be about anything. No subject is too risque or personal. Ask away. What would you like to know?
I went to a local wrestling event (Empire State Wrestling) on Friday where I got to meet Goldust and Hurricane Helms who made special guest appearances that night. Goldust is a very tall man. I knew he was tall but I didn’t realize how tall until I was standing next to him. The friend I usually go with to such things is kind’a selfish when it comes to photo-ops. I love the woman but she is always making me take pictures of her with people. When it comes to getting pictures of me, she vanishes or makes some kind of excuse. She did seriously injure one of her arms earlier that day but all you need is one free hand to use a point-and-shoot which she keeps on her at all times and did use quite a few times that night. It really pisses me off. Well, we brought another friend with us who I got to take a picture of me with The Hurricane at the after party. Both he and Goldust are such cool, down to earth guys.
Superman may be more powerful but, Batman is smarter.
Cyberman Attack! - Nightmare in Silver: preview - Doctor Who Series 7 Part 2 (2013) - BBC
The Doctor faces one of his oldest and deadliest enemies as a Cyberman attacks!
Watch Nightmare in Silver, the new Doctor Who adventure, on BBC One on Saturday 11th May at 7pm, and on:
Saturday 11th May
BBC America — 8/7c
Space (Canada) — 8/5e
Sunday 12th May
ABC (Australia) — 7.30pm
BBC Entertainment (South Africa) — 7pm
BBC Entertainment (Poland) — 6pm
These guys have been seriously upgraded. They look so sleek and I’ve never seen a Cyberman move so quickly. He actually left a visible kinetic trail.